What happened? I blacked out

 I have spent the past few weeks trying to come back out of the mental mess that resulted from the election. I deeply, meaningfully cannot believe what happened. We live in a deep red state, have for 20 years now, but let me tell you, going to Sam's Club a couple of days after the 2024 election was a big mistake. I've never felt so hunted. I was actually scared. This wasn't rational, I know. I doubt all of the people I saw driving oversized trucks wearing MAGA hats actually hated me or wanted me dead. But I'll bet most would've moved out of the way if someone else had wanted me dead.

I want to say something poignant. I want to write another viral piece about the experience of getting through this election and what's coming. But I got nothing. I'm confused and scared and my brain feels like scrambled eggs. Some of the communities I was really leaning into for support now feel actively dangerous to me (I'm looking at you carnivores, I have a post brewing in my head about that). Our hopes and plans for moving out of our current state just got bumped from "probably in the next couple of years" to "as soon as it's vaguely plausible."

Many of the most important people in my life are trans. They are not safe here anymore. 

We are in self-defense mode right now.

So I'm going to try and focus for the immediate future on the holidays coming up, going to Hawaii with my family, then skiing with my partner, then starting my new job as an intern with the Indiana Senate Dems (like, all four of them). I'm gonna keep doing deep dives on climbing, because I promise you, you cannot think of anything else besides climbing when you're 20 ft up on a wall, and it's magical. 

That's about what I've got for now. In the meanwhile, here's a video of me falling off of an easy boulder while stupidly wearing a chalkbag.