Dude, we've been lied to

When I was in high school, I decided to take the weightlifting option for my gym credit, after my first semester of taking bowling (because Bowling for gym FTW! You could even buy cheese sticks from the snack bar!). I was taught the importance of using low weights and high reps (spoiler alert: GAAAAAAH!) in order to create a "toned" look and avoid "bulking up". I discovered something in that class that I tried to bury, or at least ignore, for the next two decades--I absolutely loved lifting weights. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole process, including the sense of accomplishment as I made progress, even at barbie weight levels. But I quit lifting, because it could instantly turn me into Arnold Schwarzenegger, right? And every time I went to the gym, I'd look longingly over at the weights before climbing resolutely onto my cardio torture-du-jour (usually the elliptical, which I actually don't mind so much). Sometimes I'd throw caution to the wind and venture back to the weights, but only low weight and high rep! And only after a solid cardio session! Must burn fat!

At one point, in grad school, I managed to get myself down from 220lbs to 190lbs almost exclusively using cardio. Just pure brute force + bloodymindedness, really. (I think it says a lot about how tortuous my grad school program could be that I regarded daily cardio-grinds as a relief.) That was great, I felt good about myself. There were only a couple of key problems here:

1. all that cardio was burning both muscle and fat, and so my metabolism was going down. 
2. I was doing nothing to retain my muscle, like lifting heavy--the meager weights I did lift were really just wasting my time to no effect; so, my metabolism stayed down. And 
3. I was spending 1-2 hours per day doing something I really hated in order to not manage to achieve my real goals while simultaneously putting myself in a situation of diminishing returns as my metabolism continued to plummet, making it easier for me to gain weight again.

Gee, how did that ever plan go wrong? *headesk*

Yeah, I gained the weight back, plus about 10lbs worth of friends that it met while on it's ~2 year walkabout. Now, in fairness, I also got married and had a kid somewhere in there, but that's only a partial explanation for why the weight came back, and a non-explanation for why that much came back, and for why I was never (until recently) able to budge it. I'll spend a lot of time talking about this here.

So, back to being lied to.

Let's revisit the "low weight, high rep" mantra. You know, the methodology that all inexperienced personal trainers use that will bring women toned arms, trim midsections, and prevent gaining 50lbs of pure muscle overnight. I mean, aren't you worried about getting bulky?

No, not even a little bit. You know why? Because it's not gonna freakin' happen, and it certainly won't happen overnight ("Oops, I woke up with a bodybuilder physique!" has never happened anywhere outside of the SyFy Channel). Even just a little bit of knowledge about physiology will explain why this is the case (yay, another numbered list!):

1. I'm a girl! I have, like, 1/200th of the amount of testosterone in my body on a bad day that your average Joe does. Testosterone builds muscle. I have roughly 1/200th of the chance that an average guy does of managing to bulk up. Speaking of that average guy....
2. .... do you know how hard he worked to bulk the way he did?! Have you seen him in the gym? He's there, like, six days a week. And when he's not in the gym (and sometimes even when he is), he's throwing back steaks and cheeseburgers and protein isolates and funny-smelling green powder-based drinks and gods only knows what else. He's running something like a 500-1000 cal/day surplus in order to build muscle (because you have to be in a surplus to build muscle). AND he has all of that testosterone running through his body. And do you know what? Last week he gained 1.5lbs of muscle for all that work and he danced a fricking jig he was so happy. If it takes Joe Bodybuilder that much effort to bulk even a wee little bit, with all of the genetics of maledom going for him, why exactly should I fear suddenly getting tree trunk arms?

I won't bulk up overnight. I probably won't bulk up at all. Why do people persist in telling women that they'll bulk up? Why did my gym teacher tell me this? Why does this belief even still exist in the world? I really don't know. If I were to guess, I'd think it has something to do with a fitness industry that is more interested in keeping us fat and willing to try (read: pay for) any stupid new fad, rather than actually giving us the good info that is very well established that would help us lose fat, get healthy, and stay that way for a good long life. 

If I were a bodybuilding guy, I would be doing everything in my power to stop people from believing that women will bulk up, if for no other reason than that it is completely insulting to all the work I (as a guy) would be doing to bulk up. Seriously, I'm killing myself at this eight days a week, and this 130lb chic won't pick up anything heavier than 5# because she's afraid she'll get bulky?! Screw you, lady.

Near as I see it, really, there are two options here (and yet another numbered list. Dude.):

1. I'll lift heavy, and not bulk up because all of basic physiology is against it unless I'm doing some very specific stuff for a very long time to accomplish this as a very specific goal. So I'm totally not worried, and you can now stop asking me if I am worried. OR
2. I'll do a lot of very specific stuff for a very long time to accomplish the very specific goal of managing to bulk up as a female, which means that I'm doing it on purpose. As such, society can take its brainwashing about how a woman's body (specifically, my body) is supposed to look and shove it. 

You won't get bulky if you don't want to. Really. Really really. I swear. Physiology swears--I spoke to it earlier, it was quite specific. If you're a woman and you're afraid of lifting heavy because you're afraid you'll bulk up, just stop. You won't. We've been sold a bill of goods, and the goods are crap. So, if you want to, go and totally kill it in the gym. Own that shit. It's awesome.