First (real) post!

Okay, I suppose I should tell you something about myself. Actually, I think I'll tell you about who I was, and maybe a bit about who I am, and why I'm writing this blog at all.

So, last things first, why this blog? Why oh why do the interwebs need another fitness blog? It doesn't, and frankly, I don't care. I'm not really doing this for the interwebs's sake (and thank god for that). This blog is mainly for me, and maybe it will resonate with others, which is completely awesome if true. I hope to use this blog to hammer out the stuff that rolls around in my head when I'm at the gym, or at work, or fixing dinner, or driving, or basically about any time. Process it. Think hard about it. Let other people comment on it, challenge it, push it, whathaveyou. I'm an exhibitionist, not a journalist. I like to think some other folks might enjoy reading what I write. If not, that's cool, thanks for stopping in. That's basically why I'm doing this. Welcome to my brain. Apologies in advance.

I've got all kinds of things going on in my life, and I'm sure some of it will leak over to this blog, but mainly I want this blog to be about my own fitness journey, personal discoveries, ideas, etc. I want a space to really dig into this stuff. Facebook is wholly inappropriate for this--people always take this as showing off/shaming others, which is sad. Fitocracy would seem to be a natural fit, but it's just not structured for longer posts like what I'm hoping to do. Also, I'm not a fitness expert/trainer by any stretch of the imagination, so it also would just feel weird to me to post my vague musings over there. So, new blog was born.

More about me, and maybe a bit of why you may (or may not) be interested in anything I have to say....

In the past year, I've gone from around 230lbs (plus or minus, I wasn't exactly hanging out on the scale back then) to 188lbs and falling. I've retained all of my muscle mass, and actually added a bit. I've gone from 50% body fat to 42%, with an ultimate goal of 20%. I'm not starving to death, I pretty much eat what I want (but I pay attention! More later.) I am right now the fittest I've ever been as an adult, and possibly the fittest I've ever been in my life. And believe me, I ain't done.

For my entire life, I've hovered between overweight and obese. Despite who knows how much effort, I have never in my life (from elementary school on) been at a healthy weight. There was a period in grad school when I got within spitting distance of it (more on that later), but that's it. I'm also adopted, and neither of my adoptive parents have ever had any real weight issues. They put me in all sorts of little leagues, gym classes, swim groups, tennis lessons, you name it. Yet somehow, I was always fat. Talk about having the sense that your genetics is out to get you. Probably my biggest mental barrier--one I'm sure I still struggle with--is the feeling that being fat is my physical destiny. I mean, I was in a great environment to be able to ignore whatever my genetic inheritance is, but for my whole life I've felt like it's had me in its grip. If I'm being honest, I've probably never gone full-throttle into a diet and/or exercise regime in my life, because deep down, I always knew it wouldn't matter. Gosh, that's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy when you look at it on its face, but there you have it.

So then one day, things changed quite dramatically. There are a thousand reasons for this, but I'm going to put one right here, first and foremost: a little over a year ago I re-joined Fitocracy, and started to actually read up on their knowledge database and pay attention to some of the groups there. Since then soooooooo many things have changed about the way I live my life and how I approach being fit, and believe me, I want to tell you all about it (hell, that's the point of this place, right?). But I really do credit Fitocracy with being the linchpin that pulled everything together for me. In fairly short order, I started doing several things that I'd never done before:

1. I started lifting heavy. I learned what "lifting heavy" actually meant, and then started to do that.
2. I started following a program, rather than my more typical "huh, maybe I'll do this machine now" method.
3. I pretty much stopped using machines altogether. 
4. I embraced the fact that I HATE CARDIO. Hate it with a passion. 
• "But but but but you hafta do cardio if you want to lose weight!!!!!!!!!1!1" No, no you don't. You don't have to pound your life away on a treadmill or pump yourself into the ground on the elliptical trainer to lose weight. I promise.
5. I screwed around just a bit with what I eat. I started paying attention to these things called "macros". I'm not slavish about them, but I find them to be a good guideline.
6. I got myself a personal trainer. Best. Decision. Ever.

And finally, I learned something really important about myself. I love lifting weights. I love feeling strong. I love making progress, and adding just. one. more. fraction plate to the bar. I love lifting up something so heavy I break a sweat and make strange guttural sounds. I don't miss a workout for anything. I don't have to talk myself into going to the gym. I get excited about new personal records (PRs).

Okay, that's more than enough to be getting on with. I have some actual content to convey in the future, but for right now, that's me.